Moments in Time

One of the components of a semi-nomadic life that I learned to accept and embrace a number of years ago was the idea that people will enter and exit your life fluidly as you journey down your path, which I like to call, “moments in time”.  Some of these moments last a lifetime, some a few years, and some perhaps, even just a few hours.  Each moment though, is special, and can be life-changing, or exactly what you need at the time.

When I first moved to Singapore more than 10 years ago, I was having an extremely tough time adjusting.  I had met a few people through friends, but having very recently left my family and friends in the US, I was still in that early phase of settling into a new city.  I had come across some fairly bad news at the time, and found myself in a bad place and needing some time to process things with someone in person was (and always has been) what I needed to find some peace about the whole thing.  One of the acquaintances I had met through a friend of a friend offered her time to chat and I accepted wholeheartedly.  We sat over a drink and she offered some calming advice and just someone to share the time with.  She reassured me that things would be okay, and things started feeling better.  If memory serves me correctly, we never saw each other after that, as she moved back to Scotland quickly afterwards.   We are still connected via Facebook, and exchanged notes a few years ago, but I consider her important to me because of what she did selflessly to support me in a time where I needed it most.

It would be easy to get sad about people moving and abandoning you, but I’ve chosen to see these encounters for what they are.  They are what I needed at the time, and the memories will carry on with me as long as I live.  Now don’t get me wrong, I miss many of my friends who I’ve left in each of the places I’ve departed from, but I choose to carry the amazing interactions with me as moments in time, rather than dwelling in the past on how good something might have been.  It also propels me to make the most of each of the moments I currently have with people, and allows me to be very present with the people in close proximity to me.

A few parting tips…

  1. Be present in the time that you spend with the closest people around you.  Put your phone back in your purse or your pocket when you’re out with friends!  Give your friends your undivided attention.  They’ll notice.
  2. Learn to trust quickly.  It may be hard for some to trust quickly, especially if you’ve been burned before.  But living in a half-trust or no-trust space with your friends is a difficult place to be.  Time spent with them isn’t as rich, and your experiences will leave you always a bit confounded as to why you aren’t fully experiencing community with them.   If you find that you’ve been in a group of friends for a while who you still don’t trust, LEAVE.  Find new friends.  It’s scary as hell to break out of comfortable situations, but life is better than this.
  3. Tell your friends and loved ones that you appreciate them regularly.  It’s so oftentimes assumed how much we appreciate or care about our friends, but tell them every once in a while.

My wish for you is that you would find richness in each of your moments in time.  Time is fleeting!

  1. Anonymous

    August 22nd, 2013 23:03

    I don't read blogs much at all, but this post, I have read over, and over again. Thanks for sharing.

    • Mac Ling

      August 22nd, 2013 23:04

      Thank you for the kind words!

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